''Excuse me,sir.I think I know you.I am sure I have seen your face somewhere else.''
'That is impossible.I have worn it always in the same place.'
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Mother Therasa:You should be happy that God sends you suffering.They are kisses from Jesus.
Child:Then,Mother.please tell Jesus not to kiss me so much.
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Client:A mousetrap please,but quickly,as I have to catch the next bus.
Shopkeeper:Sorry sir,we don't have mousetraps that big.
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Outside a second hand shop:
We exchange everything,bicycles,washing machine etc.Why not bring your husband along and get a wonderful bargain?
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On a motorway garage:
Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps.Your life may not be worth much for you but our petrol is for us.
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An officer while on transfer told about the present place:
''It is so beautiful here in the winter that heaven didn't interest me.And it is so hot in the summer that hell doesn't scare me.''
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Bald man:A person who has a lot of face to wash and very little hair to comb.
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Doctor:I am sorry to say that the cheque you gave me has bounced back.
Patient:It is right,doctor,so has my fever.
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In the corridor of a Govt Office a sign board:
''Don't make a noise.''
Somebody added the following words:
'Otherwise,we may wake up.'
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A man who was in a car accident woke up in a hospital and asked,''Am I in heaven?''
'No dear',reassured his wife,'Don't you see I am here.'
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