Two boys picked hundreds of hickory nuts in the woods and stopped at a cemetry outside the town to divide among themselves.As one of the boys was counting,''one for you and one for me,''two nuts rolled out underneath the fence.At the same time,a young man walking by, heard the talking and raced back to town terrified.''The Lord and the devil are dividing the souls in the cemetry.''he said to an old man whom he met.When the old man did not  believe,the young man took him to the cemetry.They heard a voice saying,''one for you,one for me.'' Now another voice was  heard saying,''Now we are finished;except for the two nuts outside the fence.Let us divide those and then we will be even.''The old man beat the young one back to the town in terror.

A preacher's new car broke down just after his Sunday service.On Monday morning he managed to drive the vehicle to the town's one garage for repair.''I hope you'll go easy on the cost,''he told the mechanic,''After all,I'm just a poor preacher.''
''I know,''came the reply,''I heard your preach yesterday.''
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A man was dining in a restaurant with his wife and five children.Suddenly he thumped the table and said loudly,''Take your elbows off the table.''All five children immediately obeyed__as did everyone else in the restaurant.
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''You were at the point of death,''the Doctor told the patient.''What saved you was your robust constitution.''
''Well,doctor,''answered the patient,''make sure you remember that when making out my bill.''
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Fllattery:The power to describe others as they see themselves.
Bargain:A transaction in which each party thinks he has cheated the other.
wallet:It is a device that permits you to lose all your valuables at the same time.
Perfectionist:Someone who takes great pains and gives them to others.
Compromise:An arrangement whereby people who cannot get what they want,make sure nobody else does either.

We require no physical fitness program.Why?
Because everyone gets enough exercises in
1.Jumping to conclusions.
2.Flying off the handle.
3.Running down the boss.
4.Flogging dead horses.
5.knifing friends in the back.
6.Dodging responsibility.
7.Pushing their luck.

Discussion is an exchange of intelligence.
Argument is an exchange of ignorance.
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Who gossips to you will surely gossip of you.
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Youth is not a state of life.
It is a state of mind.
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When the mouth stumbles,it is worse than foot.
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He who angers you.conquers you.
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Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
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Success is not a result of spontaneous combustion.
You must set yourself on fire.
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Envy eats nothing but its own heart.
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Brilliant people know how to win an argument.
Gentlemen know how to avoid it.
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The fire you kindle for your enemy
Burn you more than him.
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Three best doctors in the world;
Dr.Diet.
Dr.Quite.
Dr.Happy.
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We cannot always oblige.;but
we can always speak obligingly.
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Never expect gratitude.
In case you get it
Be pleasantly surprised.
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Coming together is beginning.
Keeping together is progress.
Working together is success.
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Cooperation is doing with a smile
What you have to do anyhow.
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One of the greatest source of energy is
The pride in what you are doing.
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Do important jobs now,before they become urgent.
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Working with people is difficult.
But not impossible.
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You never know what you can do,before you try.
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The tongue of a idle person is never idle.
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Leadership is action,not position.
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Soft words never break teeth.
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A smile is a curve that sets many things straight.
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Exaggeration is a blood relation to falsehood.
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Most people do not lack the strength to succeed:
They lack the will.
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People respect for what you are;
Not for you pretend to be.
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Success is never final.
Failure is never fatal.
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We hate some people because we donot know them.
And we will never know them because we hate them.
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When I take a long time,I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.
When I don't do it,I am lazy.
When my boss doesn't do it,he is too busy.
When I do something without being told,I am trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same,it is initiative.
When I please my boss,it is apple-polishing.
When my boss pleases his boss,he is co-operating.
When I do good,my boss never remembers.
When I do wrong ,my boss never forgets.